COME TO LIFE AGAIN

Have you ever died? A crazy question, right? But I did. It happened when I was a little girl. D, mom, my sisters, my brother and me lived in a small family restaurant which is near the beach. My mom was chef, D. managed it. He never went out to anywhere except for our class’s meeting. He just stayed at home, taught us about life, how to study in school, how to treat to friends. He always said smooth things to us instead of scolding us like the way mom usually does. Sometimes, D. and mom had some arguments. We didn’t know why but he comforted us by showing that he could suffer mom’s anger and solve the problems. He was smart, nimble. I used to love and be proud of him vey much, he used to be my hero, my motive to live with so many big dream.

When I was sixteen, D. started to invest in real estate. My family soon became well-known. He bought cars and taught me how to drive. He gave me the life of a princess, I was different from any girl in my city. I was popular. Everyone said that my family is not only rich but also happy.

Some days, he went out a lot. Some nights, he didn’t come home. We didn’t talk anymore. I sometimes saw my mom crying alone in her room. My sisters and I knew that something was wrong but she hadn’t told us until she couldn’t suffer anymore. That time, the time I found out the truth about my real life, the real life I just lived, it was not real, it was a deceitfulness that D. make for us, that D. show off to society. The officers and scoundrels were control by his money and authority.

I don’t want to remind myself everything about what he did because it will make me furious and want to smash something. Although we let he go, we let he do whatever he want but he couldn’t stopping annoy our life. After we knew the truth about him, after we didn’t join with him going on to act this play for the society, he was very angry with us. He did everything which could maltreat our emotions. Our life became more difficult. The burden family, the pressure from the influence of D’s power usually make mom and us tired. Every night, I couldn’t sleep because of the afraid of what would he do with us, tomorrow? Mom usually was in stress and scolded us so the family atmosphere become stressed, too. So I really hate that, I just want to die because of the hurt of feelings D did to us. D was to be my life, the motive for me to continue the life, but he disappointed me. I had cried a lot but I just passed over this disappointment why don’t he let us live a normal life. I asked a question what he need from us. That time accurately is the hell and D is the devil of our life.

***

My mom try to talk to me, she was trying to help me pass over this time but I said nothing to her so she was very angry with me. I entered my room, locked the door, took my piggy bank. I thought it’s enough for me to survive on two months. I left home through my window. I took a bus to Ho Chi Minh city – a big and busy city which is near my hometown. This was night, I walked walked and didn’t know where I was going to, I didn’t know anything around me, I heard people talking, the cars’ horns,… My head just was spinning around. I just thought about D., there were so many questions: why he was this kind of person? what he was thinking? what he need from us? if he want to damage someone why not only me, why does he hurt my mom. So many questions without any answers. It really made me feel crazy. I wanted to do something but I didn’t have enough courage. Suddenly, a bright light shined into my eyes.

***

I didn’t know where the light came from but it really changed my mind. It gave me more courage than ever. I took a taxi to come back my hometown, I came to his home. When I saw him, I immediately drew out the knight from my jacket and stabbed D. I was laughing while I was crying with the happiness. I was doing something to rescue my mom and my sisters from the devil before I die. Then I stabbed myself.

***

It’s too dark, I hears the voice of someone. Where am I? Is it the hell? I try to open my eyes. I see my mom, my brother and two sisters. Their faces look so happy. I feel pain in the whole body so I can’t talk. I’m thinking about D. Where is he? Did I kill him? Was it a dream? However, I can’t think about him. It’s hurts too much. I still have mom and siblings. I still feel their love and I love them. I’m more lucky than a lot of people so I have to make my life has more meaning than it did. I won’t let anyone who are not worthy to influence my life anymore because I don’t want to leave this life again.